Off to Austin!

This afternoon I'm heading to Austin. I'm really looking forward to the trip for a couple of reasons. First and foremost is because of Austin Guy. I haven't talked about him before because I don't want to risk jinxing it and I'm not really gonna start now. Just know that he's someone I'm very excited about.

And the second reason is that I just want a nice weekend away. Next week I'll be out of town all week, but it will be work-related. This weekend is for me.

Idol is pissing me off...

Ok...these little 12 and 13 year old bitches need to have their phones taken away from them. Last night, the bottom two on American Idol shouldn't have been there. It is clearly about popularity, not talent. This isn't really news I guess, but this year seems worse.

The two that should have been in the bottom are Brooke and Jason. She wasn't too bad the other night except for her stopping and restarting the song, but I personally feel like she should have been gone a long time ago. Jason was just plain awful. He sang "Memories" from Cats. I'm sorry, but no 20 year old should sing that song, much less a male. It was just painful to listen to.

Carly and Syesha had much more powerful performances than the other two, but what do I know? They also proved that they deserved to be there during their encore performances - so it's not just that they had a good night. I don't get it other than they just aren't as popular. I'll be looking for Carly's album though. So pissed that she's gone...

Jesus has appeared...

Here it is! Jesus has reappeared in this paper towel! It can be yours, all you have to do is bid! This happened to a friend of mine who's life has forever been changed. He was not a God fearing man before, but since this event he has decided to dedicate every brownie he eats to the glory of God! Check out the link for more details of this life changing event and how you too can experience His glory.

Epiphany

I know I have low self-esteem, I always have. I just didn't realize how low it was. I won't say how I came to this realization over the past couple of days, but just that I have. I have always put myself second to other people when it comes to carrying any burden - emotional, physical, whatever. I have always told myself that it was because I want to help. That's not true. It's because I'm afraid if I say "no" that people won't like me. That's sad.

I put up this image of not giving a shit what other people think when the opposite is true. I've spent my whole life trying to please everyone around me and it just isn't possible. I change plans, I rearrange my life just to prevent hurting someone I love or care about, when in reality if they're hurt because I have made plans that don't include them that has more to do with their self-esteem than mine. I seem to show love by sacrificing my wants and desires.

I can't say that just because I'm writing this that'll stop, but it's a start. I'm publicly acknowledging the fact. I'm not saying that I will stop helping people or at times putting others' needs ahead of my own, but it won't be 100% of the time. I will stop judging other people's love for me and mine for them by how much I put them before me. I have put off taking care of myself so many times when it was necessary and that took me to some really dark places.

I think what it took for this to occur was that someone I love dearly put me second and kept me there when I had always put them first. Instead of realizing and acknowledging it I continued to let it happen time and time again. I still love this person with all my heart, but I will no longer allow myself to be held back from doing what's best for me. I'm not saying that they are holding me back, it's me that's doing it. I've made that choice repeatedly and have so my whole life. No more. It'll be a hard adjustment to make and behavior to change, but I've realized that in order for me to be happy, I have to do what's going to make me happy.

Wow...that sounds so simple and actually makes sense. I don't know why it's taken me 32 years to see it. I'm learning to love myself first...not an easy thing to do for someone so full of self-loathing, but something worth shooting for.

(Ok, so what does the frog have to do with everything? First and foremost it's Earth Day, but it's also just completely random.)

Repost...

There are times when kids draw something and you just have to say... 'Wow, tell me about your picture,' because you have no clue what it is...This one you'll know right away....Enjoy!
OF COURSE THEY'RE SCISSORS

QUOTE FROM THE MOM:

THIS IS MY KINDERGARTNER'S ARTISTIC RENDERING OF A PAIR OF SCISSORS. I WONDER

WHAT HIS TEACHER THOUGHT.

I ALLOWED MYSELF JUST A SMALL SMIRK WHEN I SAW IT.

I WAITED UNTIL HE WAS OUT OF THE ROOM UNTIL I STARTED CRYING FROM LAUGHING SO HARD.

WELL, OF COURSE THEY'RE SCISSORS.

IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WITH A SMALL CHILD OR IF YOU ARE A TEACHER YOU WILL LOVE THIS!


AS YOU ALL KNOW I WILL BE REQUIRED TO
PROUDLY DISPLAY THIS ON
MY REFRIGERATOR FOR A LENGTH OF TIME .

Forwarded email...

Ok, I'm usually not one to forward mass emails around and especially don't usually post them in my blog, but I'm posting this for posterity's sake. I'm just going to cut and paste it into here so you can see it in it's original format. I almost wet my pants...

See above post.

Case of the Mondays

This is definitely a Monday. I just really don't feel like doing anything at all - especially working. Things are slow (I'm writing this at work.) I'm caught up with everything. I'm bored. I really don't want to be here today. I've played with the cats, I've sent out emails and text messages...I'm ready to go home.

It could have to do with the fact that yesterday I went to the Door for the Beer Bust (50 cent beer) for the first time in a long time. I had too many cheap beers and then topped it off with wings and fries. My stomach was pissed off. I ended up going to bed pretty early - after watching a BRAND NEW EPISODE of Desperate Housewives. I'm so glad that show is back - really missed it.

Oh, the cool thing about today is that one of my clients came in that I hadn't seen in awhile. Ok, that's not the cool part...the cool part is that yesterday I was driving around and out of the blue thought, "Charlotte hasn't been in in awhile." Then, today she shows up - not working on a job, just came by with some friends to show them our showroom. I tend to do that a lot. I will think about someone completely randomly that I haven't seen in awhile and the next day they show up. Weird. A few hundred years ago I would've been burned for being a witch...