Grandaddy

Well, it seems based on emails and comments that I don't have to tell about last weekend. Mark did a bang up job and really the pictures speak louder than words. Since pretty much every moment was spent with Mark there's no need for me to rehash it. Besides there are too many other things to write about.

Today is kind of a weird day for me. First, today would have been my six year anniversary with Matt. We split in October, and while I'm ok now it's just a little strange to think that for the past several years I was celebrating an anniversary at this time. I'm further reminded of this by Mark and Brian's anniversary (3 years) and a couple of other anniversaries. What is it about April/May?

This is also always a day when I reflect on my maternal grandfather. Today is his birthday. He died when I was just 6 months old - I was the only grandchild he had the chance to meet. I have always had a very strong connection to him though. My mom has said that if I hadn't been born before he died, she'd swear I was him reincarnated. He has had a profound influence on my life.

I have always felt his presence, especially when I was in school for Interior Design. He was an Interior Designer and he taught Interior Design classes. I always felt like he was leaning over my shoulder when I worked.

There are many similarities between us: favorite drinks, movies, attitude, addictive personalities. But the most noted similarity I didn't find out until I was 17 and came out to my parents. My grandfather was gay. When I reflect on his life, I wonder what it must have been like for him to be gay in Louisiana and Texas in the 40's, 50's, 60's, and 70's. I'm sure it was the source of his addiction to pain killers.

I just wish he'd lived long enough for me to be able to tell him how important he has been to me. While I can't really say role model, he has definitely influenced many facets of my life, both good and bad. He died 31 years ago, but I still miss him terribly.