Funniest Commercial Ever

Ok, I think this is the funniest commercial I've ever seen. I've been waiting to be able to find it on You Tube, but it took awhile. Warning: If you have no sense of humor about sex then don't watch it. For everyone else - Enjoy!




And here are the outtakes - almost better than the original...

Starry Night Comes to Life

First of all, thank you Gary for sending this to me - it was very interesting to watch. First of all, let's look at the original...


Now, watch the video...

Thank you

Thank you for the response to my painting! Several of you came out of the woodwork to comment - some I've never heard from, and I really appreciate that. To answer a question -

Yes, at some point I will make these available commercially. I have about 3 or 4 completed ones in my head already and I'm almost halfway finished with the second painting. But, before I ever sell any I'm going to be developing my skills and techniques. The first two pieces are rather large, so I'm going to buy some smaller canvases to play with different ideas.

It'll also take a little time because I'm working on building a foundation in Grandma's name. A percentage of the profits will go to that foundation, which will make an annual contribution to several cancer research organizations. But, I have to make sure it doesn't interfere with anything in her will, and get all of the legal stuff straightened out first.

Just as an update - Nora had her brain surgery yesterday. They got what they went in there for, but noticed a branch of the cancer cells heading into her spinal column. They tried to remove it, but there was too much bleeding. Right now she's doing fine and faces a hard decision - continue with radiation, if possible, or just stick with the homeopathic stuff and let nature do its thing. There's a lot of thinking and praying to do. But the good news is they got what they came for and that she's doing well.

Icy Weather

So, the ice is about a 1/4" thick on the roads today. It's below freezing with a windchill of about 12 degrees. It will get up to 45 by noon, so we'll all be going in to work around then. Mark went back to bed, I'm up and - OH SHIT - I need to make coffee...

That was a close one! Mark's up now - he'll be going in at noon too...or staying home...we don't know. Last night I started my Grandma's painting. I'm very excited about, so I'll probably work on that for a couple of hours.

Anyhoo...nothing exciting - just waiting for the ice to melt.

Winter Lace

The first of many to come. I have a whole series running in my head and if it continues there's no end for awhile. This is the first and has long story behind it. It's the culmination of a lot of years of artistic blockage, a lot of anger, some resolution, emotions in general, painful recovery, lessons learned - forgotten - and relearned, deaths and illnesses, relationships old and new, tearing down and rebuilding, and suddenly - epiphany thanks to Nora and Mark.

I have always loved a bare tree in Winter. It's just so exposed - nothing to hide. I get lost in the branches - it's the only time I really feel peaceful (it doesn't have to be Winter - but those are the best ones.) It's the closest I ever get to meditating anymore. Anyway, I've been lost artistically, but knew I wanted to do something related to trees. Hmm...

I had no medium - no outlet. I thought maybe quilting? I love quilts - not only because they're comfortable as hell but I see a lot of symbolism in piecing together all of those little pieces to form a larger picture - like a mosaic. Hmmm...

Still stumped as to what I should do. I didn't feel like I could paint - why should I? My limited attempts were never very successful. But, there were three blank canvases sitting in our storage area and a place on the wall above the TV. Hmmmm...

Then I read a post by Nora called Winter Lace. It was a very emotional blog post for me personally and came at the right time. After a couple of emails with her things were starting to roll. Nora has been battling Cancer for several years now and is having her second brain surgery Wednesday. She's a very strong, very inspirational person - a presence I hadn't felt since Grandma passed away a year ago this week. Hmmmmm...

I started the painting. It's my Winter Lace. While in the planning stage Mark said, what about doing different colors in different spaces instead of the negative space being all one color. I turned to him and said, "like a quilt." And then I got excited. I just got focused and went with it. There are so many options - so many design/pattern/color/shape/size options available. I think I'll be busy for awhile. Who knows - after I have a pile of these things laying around maybe someone will actually want to buy one...

Everyone beware - I have years of "stuff" to paint about - I'm finally unblocked!!!

Giving Back

Abe's (center) "Cherry Ride"

I've been looking into different ways to help injured veterans. I think I've finally decided on Rebuild Hope and USA Together. They allow you to choose the soldier/family you want to help and let you send either money or needed items. While I was looking for ways to help and give back I heard this story on NPR about Veterans turning to online help because the military doesn't take care of everything. I decided that's what I needed to do.

So, this next paycheck I'm going to start budgeting for regular donations to a couple of specific veterans. I just haven't done enough.

Another good site that has lots of different ways to help soldiers that are currently serving is Soldiers' Angels. It has anything from sending birthday cakes and cell phones to fostering pets while soldiers are in Iraq.

I don't know what sparked this sudden need to give. I think it's a combination of it being more personal with Abe and Ersan in Iraq and new hope for the future. Yes, Obama has had that effect on me I have to admit. For the first time in years I feel hopeful for our government and our future.

I guess it doesn't really matter what caused it - what matters is that I've turned that corner. Now I just need to get paid...

Trimming the Fat

Looks like things are getting back to normal. Allergy symptoms are all but gone and I feel great.

I filed my taxes today. I get a decent little refund which, as much as I would like to buy some glass, is going to bills. Mark and I have budgeted out for the next few months and our goal is to have most of our debt paid down by the time for our trip to San Francisco in June. The catch to that of course is that we don't have spending money in the meantime.

I know that given the economy we're sitting pretty good overall and I shouldn't complain about not having spending money because we can pay our bills and still pay down debt. There are many out there that can't even pay their bills, much less get out of debt. We have just both always enjoyed shopping so much and it's a big part of our lives that we are learning to live without, but again I'm grateful for what I have and what I'm able to do.

I'm looking into where I can trim even more fat so I can start to give to people less fortunate. It's not that I have extra money to give, but when I see that there are people much worse off than myself I have a hard time complaining about not getting to buy some piece of glass I've had my eye on. Not that I can afford to buy glass right now anyway, but I can cut some more corners somewhere.

HUGE allergic reaction

Well, Tuesday evening I went in for a follow up shot where they up the dose more to get me closer to the maintenance dose. I sat there for the 20 minutes they require and headed home. About 2 minutes down the road my eyes started itching. I figured they'd just pumped me full of allergens, so that would be expected.

By the time I got home my eyes were swelling and itching more. I took some Benadryl and used some antihistamine eye drops. It wasn't getting much better. I have always been told that I'm over-dramatic, so it seems that when something really does start going wrong I get really stubborn (I waited 3 days before I went in for an emergency appendectomy a few years ago.) Although my symptoms seemed to be getting worse, I kept telling myself it would pass.

While I was fixing something to eat I started coughing. My chest and throat were tightening. I went ahead and ate because I still didn't want to overreact - one thing I'm accused of doing often. I figured having a huge allergic reaction would be considered drama. I told Mark I was going to lie down for a bit. He looked very concerned and asked if I thought we should go to the hospital. I told him I felt like it wasn't getting much worse.

When I lay on the couch my breathing became more constricted. It was 6:45 and the allergy place closed at 7:00. I called them and they told me to get there immediately. When I got there they gave me a breathing treatment, steroids, antihistamines, epi shot. I sat there for about an hour with Mark, my doctor, and nurse - everyone else in the clinic had gone.

She gave me a prescription for an EpiPen and an inhaler - just in case. So, next time they'll lower the dose dramatically and I'll sit there a little longer. This was Tuesday night and I'm just now starting to feel normal again - actually better than normal. All of this makes me very excited to go back next week and do it again!

Allergy Update

Ok, so I spent all morning Friday getting shots. Not only was I black and blue, I was extremely swollen and itchy as well. Yesterday was much better and so far today even better. There's still a little swelling around my elbows, but for the most part it's gone.

I have to go in this week to get 4 more shots and then I'm up to my regular dose. I'll go once a week, but only get two shots - one in each arm. One arm is molds and dust and the second one is pollen. Hell, I might go do that this morning before work - that way I can get it over with!

But as far as whether or not it works? I haven't sneezed or had itchy eyes or been stopped up since I started all of this. It feels great. Right now I'm just getting used to the Allegra she put me on - it makes me a little loopy.

Inauguration

This is one of my favorite pictures of Barack Obama. I am so excited today that I can hardly keep still. I see hope - something I haven't seen from Bush ever. The things he's accomplished so far before even being inaugurated are unprecedented. He hit the ground running and isn't looking back.

For the first time in a long time people are interested in politics again. It's exciting. I hate politics in general, but this man inspires me unlike any other politician I've seen. He's made me excited again, but most of all hopeful - anyone who knows me personally will know that neither of those words (excited, hopeful) are used to describe me.

Today at work I'll have cnn streaming on my computer and yes, I'll probably cry a little. I didn't realize how moved I was by everything until the other night when I was watching insert Nightly News program here. Every time they would show Obama and his family or show him speaking, I would get choked up. That's how much I hope I have - so much that I have trouble containing my emotions when I listen to him speak. Or, maybe I need to up a medication, but I think it's the former. I think he's the first genuine President we've had in decades.

Dallas isn't that bad...

Taken this morning from our roof

So, I get asked a lot, "Why do you love Dallas so much?" "What's so great about Dallas?" So, when I found this little "Dallas Fun Facts" in a newspaper I thought I'd share. These aren't the reasons I love living here - I didn't know some of this stuff. However, maybe it'll make Dallas seem a little more interesting than some people think it is.

**Dallas has four times more restaurants per capita than New York City

**Six Flags Over Texas is larger than Disneyland

**Dallas has the largest urban arts district in America (I'll have to take some pictures of the amazing progress in that area.)

**The largest model train display in America is in the lobby of the Dallas Children's Medical Center

**Dallas has the world's largest bronze monument, standing at the Dallas Convention Center, with more than 40 bigger-than-life longhorn steers, horses, and cowboys. (Right down the street from us - I love it!)

**The integrated circuit computer chip was invented in Dallas

**The Dallas Arboretum and Botanical Garden has the largest public selection of azaleas in the U.S.

**Dallas has more shopping centers per capita than any other major U.S. city

**The Dallas Public Library in downtown has on display on of the original copies of the Declaration of Independence.

**The frozen margarita was invented in Dallas

**Dallas is home to two of the top airlines for service and quality, American and Southwest.

**There are more non-stop flights to Dallas from more U.S. cities than to any other airport in the world.

**There are 50,000 acres of public park land and over 60 lakes within a 100-mile radius of the city.

**The McKinney Avenue Trolley, which operates daily, is the largest volunteer-run system in the world.

Writing all of this has made me want to expand on this stuff, take pictures, etc. Not all of it, but some of it - like the bronze sculpture, the shopping and restaurants, the Arts District. I'll have to get out there and take some pictures, because even though I could find them on the internet, it's more personal if I take them myself.

Disney Geeked Car

Ok, the car is now geeked out. I bought the Mickey when we were at Disneyland and put it on my car right after our last trip, but they were out of the dog stickers so I had to get those online. I had to take off my Obama sticker to put them on there, but I'll either get another one or just use the bumper magnet - it's just a little big.

Anyway, Mark has the 2 "Dads" and the "Dog" on his car too...for those of you that don't know, he doesn't put stickers on his car - ever. His dad abhorred them and instilled that in Mark. So - this is a big deal for him to do it. I on the other hand have always had stickers on my car. Hell, in HS I had them all over. Now this is all I have which I consider extremely conservative. Stickers are relegated to this one window and that's all.

The only other "personalization" we have on our cars is a license plate cover of the Bear Flag. Not that anyone other than Mark and I care about this...

Shit - now that I look at the overall picture I want to change it...I'm gonna have to order more stickers dammit!

CONDOMS ARE BACK!

It's about time Dallas County commissioners came to their senses. They have finally lifted a ban on distribution of free condoms. In 1995 the county commissioners voted on the ban saying it encouraged immorality (a little more conservative than usual for this county.) They decided instead that county officials needed to stress abstinence.

In 2006-2007, Dallas County had the largest number of HIV infections in the state (oh yeah - we've been the only county in the state with this ban for awhile.) The council finally realized that maybe abstinence education doesn't work. It was a close shave though. The vote was 3-2, but I don't care - it passed. I remember the days when people would be in front of bars and clubs distributing condoms, then they just disappeared.

The county says it will distribute them only in high-risk areas and will only go where they're wanted (not to schools unless the school district requests it.) So, for all of the conservatives out there that foolishly believe that abstinence education works - your children are still safe from exposure to and education about safe sex and condoms. I know people don't want to admit that their children are having sex, but judging by the number of teenage mothers and teens with STD's, something tells me that they are. These kids need condoms to be made available. Believe me, condoms don't put the thoughts of sex in their heads - those thoughts are already there.

Full Story from the Dallas Morning News

Allergy Report

So, what am I allergic to? Here's a list along with the rating system:

+ Reactive
++ Slightly Allergic
+++ Very Allergic
++++ Highly Allergic

Giant Ragweed ++
Marsh Elder ++++
Carelessweed +++
Hackberry ++
Cedar ++++
Cottonwood +++
Feathers ++++
Cat Hair ++++
Cockroach +++
Dust Mite Pteronysinus ++++
Dust Mite Farinae ++++
Lambs Quarter (weed) +++
Alternaria (mold) ++++
Aspergillus (fungus) ++
Helminthosporium (mold) +

So basically - stay away from dust, trees, cats, feathers, and mold. Hmmm...live in an old converted loft, work in a showroom with a dusty warehouse and 4 cats...yep - I need shots.

Friday I start a regimen called RUSH Immunology. I'll go in to the doctor and over a period of about 4 hours I'll be given lots of shots (with waiting periods in between) that will bring me to the maintenance dose in a day instead of a month. Then, I just have to go once a week for a bit before going once a month, which I'll continue for at least 3-5 years. The advantage is a smaller frequency of office visits and faster and better results.

She said they've come a long way and to throw out what I believe about shots and their effectiveness. She said that the problem most people have is that they either miss an office visit or just stop completely. I'm dedicated. I've spent 30 years dealing with year-round allergies - I can dedicate 3-5 years to eradicating them. And she said that this isn't just "treatment", but a cure. It's just a long, slow process.

Allergy Update

I thought this was a lovely picture of a sneeze caught on camera. :)

So, they did the first of two allergy tests yesterday morning. They put about 20 drops of different allergens on my back and then pricked each one. It didn't hurt, but it was very annoying - kind of like a tattoo...you reach a point where you just want to hit the person. Then I lay there on the bed for twenty minutes and see what reacts.

The fun part is that the ones I was most allergic to and had the biggest reaction to were in the center of my back. So, the rest of the day I had what felt like a giant, itchy mosquito bite in the middle of my back, riiiiiiight out of reach. The test results...every kind of dust known to man. I glanced at the list and saw Cockroach...um they put Cockroach shit on my back...great! I went through the rest of the day at work with that image in my head.

So, she gave me a prescription nasal spray and told me to use a NeilMed Sinus Wash which I happened to already have - I just don't like using it. So, I used that last night and this morning and feel a little better. Time is the test though - yesterday I was a mouth-breather most of the day...I can't stand mouth-breathers!

Today I get to go back for the second round of testing - the needles in the arms...

This is not me...

What's up with so many posts...

Yeah, so yesterday I wrote 5 or 6 posts. It started off as one ginormous post and I realized it was more "rambly" than usual. Someone once told me that people don't really like reading long posts (I usually don't read more than 3 or 4 paragraphs.) So, I decided to break it up.

No, I wasn't making up for lost time - although I'm sure I should. I know I haven't been there like I should and even want to. There are so many times that I come across something to post or write about but just figure I'll write about it later in the day or something. Then I completely forget about it.

So, now there will probably be more frequent, shorter posts. Some days may have none and some days may have 5 - there are no rules. They may be linked somehow or totally disjointed. Who knows. Some will be political, some will be observations, some will be bitch sessions (probably either about stupid parents or stupid people in general.) I don't know. What I do know is that I'm back.

About Market

About Market - UGH! But here's why...Market is when people come from BFE Oklahoma, Louisiana, New Mexico, Kansas, Arkansas, and the far reaches of Texas and they descend on Dallas to find the latest in home accessories. Well, Market Center is just down the street and since we're in the heart of the Design District they typically wander into our showroom.

Overall, it's fine. But, occasionally we get that one person who comes in from some swamp or mining town and takes up hours of time and never actually buys anything because where they're from they can't imagine spending more than $5/sf for tile. In the past 3 years (which is about 6 Markets I think) I have developed 2 very good clients - one from Kansas and one from New Mexico. In fact, they will probably "drop in" at some point this week. They're great people, and I love working with them - but out of all of the people I've seen and worked with during Market, to only have 2 that I work with still - those aren't good odds. And as far as I know I'm the only one who has that many.

So, overall, Market Week is not something we look forward to. I'm hoping that this one is different, but with the economy the way it is you never know. Our business is picking back up, but that's the Dallas consumer - I don't know that that'll apply to everyone else. Time will tell.

Movies

We went to a 10:00 showing of Benjamin Buttons after breakfast. It was a wonderful movie and very moving at times. I remember tears building or rolling down my cheeks on several occasions, but sometimes it was happy and sometimes sad.

Some of the harder parts were with Cate Blanchett dying in the hospital - I'm not giving anything away, it's how the movie opens. She's about 100 and just slowly dying. It was hard to watch with reminders of watching grandma die in a similar way - she was just younger. I love Cate, but I have to say this is not one of my favorite roles. I don't know if it was the accent or the character - still figuring that one out. Maybe it was a little of both.

Brad Pitt was absolutely amazing - and beautiful. He really should do more nude scenes. (I'm talking about the 30's/40's Brad, not the older one with all the make-up. That would be creepy, but his acting is great!

After 3 hours of on-again off-again crying we needed something light. So, we bought tickets for Bride Wars. After doing a little shopping at Macy's, we showed up at the theatre about 20 or so minutes before. The theatre was empty except for another gay couple, so we got our usual seats (on opening weekend I usually like to get there 30-45 minutes ahead, but it was a Sunday, so we took the risk.) I knew one of the other guys from work - he's a designer that we work/gossip with on a regular basis.

The theatre was nice and quiet until about 10 minutes later when gaggles of giggly girls strolled in. The most annoying sound to me in the world, other than a sudden shrill shriek of a toddler, is the sound of "girl chatter". Talks of sororities and boys and whatever else permeated the room. I don't know when I've heard the word "like" used so many times in one place. I couldn't wait for the damn movie to start!

It was a cute movie - nothing to write home about. Wasn't as good as Devil Wears Prada or 27 Dresses, but it was funny at times, sappy at others and 100% predictable. But, at the same time the past four movies we've seen in a theatre were very heavy, so fluff was good. And, because I tend to like fluff every now and then I will be adding it to the collection.

When the credits rolled Mark said he felt like he needed testosterone shots or something. I told him we could go build something or drink a beer and pick a fight...

We went home and cleaned.

Macy's on a Sunday

In between movies, we wandered down to Macy's to roam for irresistible bargains. I found a pair of pants that were pretty cool - until I put them on. The back pockets pretty much did a disappearing act on my ass. That always pisses me off, because it's the one thing I found that I was remotely interested in that wasn't over $80 (trying to conserve.) Of course there were things I wanted, but even on sale, I just don't want to spend $200-$400 on a jacket right now. But we always enjoy wandering and always go look at "our" glass case that we want. It was on sale for $1000 with a "no tax" sale on top of that. Normally that thing is $1200 but - we resisted.

The weird thing about Macy's on a Sunday is that it turns into not only a gay shopping experience, but more specifically a Bear shopping experience. We ran into Brian and his new "un-partner" (he says they aren't partnered, but signs say otherwise.) They were shopping for Market this week (ugh, Market - I'll explain that one in a minute.) - you should dress to impress. Anyway, everywhere I turned there were more bears. It was very weird.

Not that I'm not used to it - it's a phenomenon that I've noticed many times, it just strikes me as funny every time. Northpark Mall is a very gay mall, in general. Why? Because it has all of the big-name designer "boutiques", Neimans, Barneys, etc... The only other mall in Dallas that any self-respecting gay man will shop at is the Galleria, but that's for the gays to the North. Neither of these malls has or will ever have a "Spencer Gifts." They're great places for people watching - it's where Dallas Money goes when they want to shop.

Bronchitis? Really?

Well, joy! I think I've developed Bronchitis from letting my allergies get out of hand. It started Saturday with a really little, shallow cough. By yesterday morning it was a little more frequent and as the day went on developed a little rattle.

I could feel it building in the movie theatre as we sat for almost 5 hours of movies - Benjamin Button and Bride Wars. When we got home we needed to clean - of course that got everything moving around and stirred the allergies up even more. By early afternoon I had the full coughing fits going on. I haven't made it to the wheezing rattle yet when I breathe, but hopefully the allergy doc can give me something to help with that (she also does Internal Medicine.)

I need my allergy medication!!!

This has been a bad week. Not because anything in particular happened, but because I couldn't take any allergy medication. Tomorrow morning I get to go to the allergy doctor. Because of allergy testing I can't have any antihistamines in my system. For someone who is seemingly allergic to anything and everything and who takes Claritin-D every morning - this is no small task.

I'm allergic to animal dander - I live with a dog and work with 4 cats. I'm allergic to dust and have been cleaning this week. I'm allergic to anything that can move through the wind - it's been a windy week. And the list goes on. I've gone through 3 boxes of Kleenex this week.

Last night was probably the worst because my eyes were itching and burning so bad. Mark and I were laying on the couch watching Underworld (gearing up for the 3rd) and tears would just pour out. No, I wasn't so moved by the battle between Vampires and Lycans on the screen - it was my stupid allergies.

So, as I'm sure you can imagine, I'm looking forward to what this day has to bring me. We're gonna go to Mama's for our ritual Sunday breakfast as soon as Mark gets up (I'm not allowed to wake him until 9am - I wake up naturally at 6:30 - ugh) and then maybe try to see a movie. We have so many to catch up on. Hopefully with nose spray and kleenex in my pockets I can hold off any sneezing fit.

When we get back home we have to clean some more. There are things from last weekend that need to actually be thrown out and honestly I haven't had the energy or desire this week, but we'll do it today. Neither one of us can go into a week with a dirty house. It just puts both of us in bad moods.

So, cross your fingers that tomorrow morning the allergy doc will give me the ok to get back on allergy medication until they can figure out what should be done. I'm really hoping for regular allergy shots to knock that crap out - I hate taking Claritin-D. It reminds me too much of doing meth and/or coke. It's funny, I never thought that much about it, but since I haven't been taking it daily my cravings have decreased dramatically...everyone pray for allergy shots!

Sobering thought

Just a moment of reflection. I had a reminder this morning that I have it pretty good. The most I can bitch about right now is the weather and my allergies. Other than that my life is pretty easy.

I have two friends in Iraq right now - that makes them sound more like acquaintances when in reality both of them are more like brothers to me. One of them, Abe, I've known for 26 or so years (I'm 33 so that's about 80% of my life.) The other one, Ersan, I've known for about 15 years. Ersan is two years younger than I am and has been like a little brother to me from day one, so naturally I have very protective feelings for him.

Anyway - our group from HS is planning our annual get-together and Abe is in on the emails even though he will be in Iraq at the time. He makes comments occasionally, suggesting Baghdad and Iraq as great vacationing spots. While he's very funny and makes me laugh, it's a very sobering reminder of what they do all day compared to what I do all day. Abe flies helicopters around Iraq and Ersan is an RN at Camp Bucca. I sell tile and bitch about traffic, my knee, allergies, weather, my back...I really have nothing I should be bitching about. Two people I consider to be closest to me are in Iraq doing jobs that I would never do - and they're doing it proudly.

So, today I'm gonna try to make it through the day without bitching (I can't think of one day in my life that that's happened.) But, if I start I'm going to think of Abe and Ersan and remember that I have nothing to bitch about.

Me Sitting in Abe's Lap

Me and Ersan

(I love you guys and miss you!)

Pinkalicious New Year

I'm a day late, but Happy New Year! Wednesday evening was spent in the company of bears at a party in BFE Carrollton. If you can't tell from the pictures below, the theme was PINK. Mark and I had to run by Macy's beforehand to pick up a couple of pink shirts - not a normal color in our wardrobes.

We had a great time even if there were about 400+ bears crammed into a house and backyard. Normally I can't handle that, but it was a really good time.