Wow! Didn't realize I hadn't written anything in a week. Ooops...

Things have been hectic with preparations for Halloween. There's a group of us going as Beauty Queens, but not just any beauty queens. I'm going as Miss Conceive - I'll be pregnant. We have Miss Treated (abused), Miss Guided (blind w/ guide dog), etc etc. The one I wanted to do so bad, but decided it was just a little too tacky is Miss Carriage. I don't wanna piss off any lesbians at the Ranch.

On the other fronts: My ex is actively looking for a place to stay. He has until the end of the month. Construction at work is almost complete. We just have a few finishing touches to do and we'll be finished! This 2 week project has become an 8 week project - pretty typical. But we're almost prepared for our street party on Nov 2.

For those in the area, consider this an invite. All of the Dragon St showrooms will be open the night of Nov 2 from 6-9pm for drinks and food. It is sponsored by Lexus and Dallas Modern Luxury. The event is called "Design on Dragon Sip and Stroll". Feel free to come by for some wine and a nosh.

More Self-Improvement

Well, I'm one step closer to taking Accutane. I went in for my follow-up dermatology appointment and he wasn't too happy with what he saw. My back has broken out quite a bit and it's really upsetting. I asked him if there was something we could do before jumping to Accutane. I'm going to take Bactrim for a month and see if we can get the breakout under control.

If I take the Accutane I won't be able to do the lipo for at least 12 months - something to think about for sure, but I believe the acne is a bigger issue for me. It's a major source of stress and depression because I'm not comfortable in my skin - literally and figuratively. I can at least do things to minimize the fat without costing an arm and a leg, not the case with acne. I think we have a winner...

On the fat front, I'm starting the "Carbohydrate Addict's Diet". Many years ago I followed this diet with great success. I thought I'd give it a shot again. It's amazing! I've completed my 2nd day on it and am surprised at how my cravings have already faded somewhat and how at dinner I was able to put down my fork with half of my food still on my plate. Alcohol too - I had 1 margarita and that took awhile to drink - usually I would have had 2 or 3 in the same time-frame.

I haven't really had any weight loss yet - a little early still, but I'm so impressed with the other results - increased energy, fewer cravings, less munchiness, and best of all - the mechanism in my brain that tells me I'm satisfied is actually working the way it's supposed to. It seems crazy that I've noticed such a difference in only 2 days, but it shows how strong the effects of carbohydrates really are. It really is an addiction, something I have a little more than a basic knowledge of overcoming.

Flaming Pope

At the two-year anniversary of Pope John Paul II's death, a bonfire seems to have acted as a portal to the ether. Believers say that the deceased pope has made an appearance. Read the full story.

LifeWalk and Annie Lennox

What a weekend! Sunday was a long day. Mark, Brian, and I went to the LifeWalk around 11 am. We met up with our Rainbow Ranch team and hung out at the park until the walk started around 1 pm. It was a beautiful day for a walk - sunny, but not too hot. By the end of the day we had raised about $15,000 in online donations for our team alone. That doesn't include all of the donations made offline. Our team will be in top 3 fundraisers - not bad for 7 people! Pictures.

After the walk our team decided to go to Buffalo Wild Wings for the worst service ever. We ended up walking after about 30 minutes just waiting to get drinks. The manager and waitstaff didn't care that their service was horrible. This was our third and last visit. We went next door to a Salvadoran restaurant where we got impeccable service.

That night we headed out to see Annie Lennox. I find myself at a loss for words to describe it. She is indescribable in person. Granted I've been crazy about her for as long as I can remember. This was definitely one of the best concerts I've ever seen - not for effects or size, or any quantifiable description, but because it was so intimate. It was held at McFarlin Auditorium at SMU which seats only 2400 people.

It's My Birthday!! (Gimme money)

I turn another year older today! I made it another year and what a year it's been. I know I've said it before, but I'm saying it again - I love getting older. I like my gray hairs that pop up in weird places. I feel like I've earned them. Instead of looking at age as a negative, I look at it as a badge of honor.

It may be a little morbid, but I think of my friends who didn't make it this far. Why I'm still moving along I don't know, but I am and I'm very grateful that I am. I admit there are some negatives to the age thing, but honestly the physical and mental problems that people have due to age, I've had for awhile now due to years of drug use.

Now, let's chat. I am walking this Sunday with Mark and a group from the Ranch in the Dallas LifeWalk. So here's my birthday wish:

I have fallen pathetically short of my goal and need help. I realize that a lot of people have already donated to others (be it this cause or another) so I understand if you are unable to help. However, I also know there are people who keep meaning to donate and forget. Now's your chance! Click on my donation page and help support AIDSArms of Dallas.

Thank you to everyone who has donated already and to those who are about to donate!

National Coming Out Day

Today marks the 20th anniversary of National Coming Out Day. In honor of this auspicious occasion, I will share my coming out story.

I was junior in High School. My dad drove me to Dallas (we lived about 45 min away) for my SAT. After spending a few hours hunched over a little desk filling in bubbles, we headed back to Denton. Once we were on the highway, going 70 mph, my dad turned to me and asked, point blank, if I was gay. I was stunned into silence.

He went on to tell me that my mom had "overheard" a phone conversation where I was talking about some guy. I did the standard, "I don't know, I think I might be bi" thing. The remaining 32 minutes of the ride was mostly silent. Once we got home and he confirmed his findings with my mom, she locked herself in her room. I didn't see her for 3 days.

My dad spent that time talking to me, asking questions. He is very inquisitive, but it isn't judgmental so much as curious. This is when he told me that my maternal grandfather, who died when I was a baby, was gay. My parents were still very involved in the church and I had been shunned. I felt as though they were choosing religion over me and became a very unpleasant person.

In my anger I informed them that I wasn't "bi", but a full-blown homosexual. They weren't amused. We lived in a state of tension until two years later my dad came up to me and asked for my forgiveness. What?!?!? He apologized for the way the acted when I came out and said that there was nothing wrong with me, it was their problem to resolve it with their beliefs. They are no longer members of the church that turned its back on me. In fact, they aren't a member of any church right now.

Since then our relationship has been great! It's been 15 years now since I came out and while I'm not crazy about how it happened (on someone else's terms) I am happy that it happened when it did.

The Demon Barber

Saturday, Mark and I went to see The Heartbreak Kid starring Ben Stiller. It wasn't nearly as funny as it was made out to be, which is usually the case. I have to admit there were a couple of scenes that made me laugh so hard I cried, but those scenes alone could've waited for DVD. There is one great, unexpected cameo at the very end, but that's the only thing I liked about the ending.

The best part of the night was seeing the trailer for the long-anticipated Sweeney Todd:The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Tim Burton has teamed up with Johnny Depp yet again to work his magic. To add to all of the magical weirdness, Depp's co-star is Helena Bonham Carter who I love. I could hardly contain myself watching the preview. Now I just have to wait 2 1/2 months for the release. *SIGH*

Showroom Progress & the Weekend

It's so much fun watching my tile designs come to life. I've designed about 30 floors for our showroom and one vignette which looks amazing so far. The floors are taking a little longer than expected but now as they are slowly being installed, enhanced, and grouted I'm very excited.

The floor in the picture was the first one to be installed. It's a very unique brushed marble. And yes, it is naturally that color. As we complete more of them I will post pictures of the best ones.

Brettcajun is in town this weekend for a tennis tournament. It'll be good to see him. It's been awhile. Tonight I think Mark and I will meet him for drinks and/or dinner. Tomorrow we'll probably go watch a couple of matches at the park and then Mark wants to go spend his gift certificate at Ikea. I'm sure we'll sneak into a movie or two at some point.

Sunday I have dinner with the family for my birthday. Yes, it's that time of year. Next Friday, Oct 12 I will turn another year older thank god. I actually enjoy getting older. It's weird, I know, but I guess considering the shit I've been through and survived I am always amazed that I made it another year. Besides, I've always had a thing for older men. I have no issues with aging - as long as it's done gracefully.

Oh yeah, it's Texas/OU weekend which means everywhere will be nuts this weekend. I don't care about football, but for rivalry sake I hope Texas wins. Since I was born in TX I was raised with a strong distaste for Oklahoma. There's a natural rivalry there that plays out for everyone through the Texas/OU battle every year. All in fun, of course...

Top Chef Finale and an update...

Well I need to give Dale a hug. He was robbed last night. It was almost enough to make me lose faith in Top Chef. I'm not just saying that because I want to have Dale's gaybies, I believe he really deserved to win. The final competition was tied between Dale and Hung and out of the two - Dale is clearly a better chef with a better heart. Hung was just an ass through the entire process.

But enough about Top Chef, here's a brief update on everything else that's going on. My ex is still living with me, but we had a little talk last night. He's gonna start looking into weekly hotels. Praise Jebus! Three weeks ago he told me it would be two. He starts making all of these plans about our storage units, combining them into one, etc. I just looked at him and said, "so when are you going to be moving?" I feel like an ass when I do that, but when I look at everything I've done for him over the past few months that feeling fades a bit.

Everything else seems to be going well. If I can just get my life back I think all will be well - and I'm working on it.

Top Chef Finale Live!

Note: Thank you for the concern, but believe me - I do my research. Luckily I'm in Dallas - the plastic surgery capital (even more so than LA). Dr. Schwartz is a very respected plastic surgeon in Dallas - I'm very comfortable with him. This isn't something I've gone into lightly. I have thought about it for many years and it wasn't until they developed the lipo-selection procedure that I even considered it.

Tonight, my future husband, Dale Levitski will be announced as the winner of Top Chef. I have faith.

Wow! That's a profound post isn't it?

Lipo here I come!

I had my "Lipo-Selection" consultation yesterday. It went very well. The procedure he'd use is different from traditional liposuction. Instead of removing solid fat he would use sound waves to liquefy the fat before removing it. This allows him to remove more and have more control over what is being removed.

I'm told on a regular basis that I don't need anything done. Those people don't live in my skin. I have a ring of fat around my waist that won't go away with diet and exercise. The only option to get rid of it is surgical. It is the reason I change shirts 5 times before going anywhere. I look at pictures and just see these "love" handles hanging there. It's time for them to go.

So, once I secure the financing I'm as good as there. I just have to wait until January when my vacation time starts over.