Off to Austin!

This afternoon I'm heading to Austin. I'm really looking forward to the trip for a couple of reasons. First and foremost is because of Austin Guy. I haven't talked about him before because I don't want to risk jinxing it and I'm not really gonna start now. Just know that he's someone I'm very excited about.

And the second reason is that I just want a nice weekend away. Next week I'll be out of town all week, but it will be work-related. This weekend is for me.

Idol is pissing me off...

Ok...these little 12 and 13 year old bitches need to have their phones taken away from them. Last night, the bottom two on American Idol shouldn't have been there. It is clearly about popularity, not talent. This isn't really news I guess, but this year seems worse.

The two that should have been in the bottom are Brooke and Jason. She wasn't too bad the other night except for her stopping and restarting the song, but I personally feel like she should have been gone a long time ago. Jason was just plain awful. He sang "Memories" from Cats. I'm sorry, but no 20 year old should sing that song, much less a male. It was just painful to listen to.

Carly and Syesha had much more powerful performances than the other two, but what do I know? They also proved that they deserved to be there during their encore performances - so it's not just that they had a good night. I don't get it other than they just aren't as popular. I'll be looking for Carly's album though. So pissed that she's gone...

Jesus has appeared...

Here it is! Jesus has reappeared in this paper towel! It can be yours, all you have to do is bid! This happened to a friend of mine who's life has forever been changed. He was not a God fearing man before, but since this event he has decided to dedicate every brownie he eats to the glory of God! Check out the link for more details of this life changing event and how you too can experience His glory.

Epiphany

I know I have low self-esteem, I always have. I just didn't realize how low it was. I won't say how I came to this realization over the past couple of days, but just that I have. I have always put myself second to other people when it comes to carrying any burden - emotional, physical, whatever. I have always told myself that it was because I want to help. That's not true. It's because I'm afraid if I say "no" that people won't like me. That's sad.

I put up this image of not giving a shit what other people think when the opposite is true. I've spent my whole life trying to please everyone around me and it just isn't possible. I change plans, I rearrange my life just to prevent hurting someone I love or care about, when in reality if they're hurt because I have made plans that don't include them that has more to do with their self-esteem than mine. I seem to show love by sacrificing my wants and desires.

I can't say that just because I'm writing this that'll stop, but it's a start. I'm publicly acknowledging the fact. I'm not saying that I will stop helping people or at times putting others' needs ahead of my own, but it won't be 100% of the time. I will stop judging other people's love for me and mine for them by how much I put them before me. I have put off taking care of myself so many times when it was necessary and that took me to some really dark places.

I think what it took for this to occur was that someone I love dearly put me second and kept me there when I had always put them first. Instead of realizing and acknowledging it I continued to let it happen time and time again. I still love this person with all my heart, but I will no longer allow myself to be held back from doing what's best for me. I'm not saying that they are holding me back, it's me that's doing it. I've made that choice repeatedly and have so my whole life. No more. It'll be a hard adjustment to make and behavior to change, but I've realized that in order for me to be happy, I have to do what's going to make me happy.

Wow...that sounds so simple and actually makes sense. I don't know why it's taken me 32 years to see it. I'm learning to love myself first...not an easy thing to do for someone so full of self-loathing, but something worth shooting for.

(Ok, so what does the frog have to do with everything? First and foremost it's Earth Day, but it's also just completely random.)

Repost...

There are times when kids draw something and you just have to say... 'Wow, tell me about your picture,' because you have no clue what it is...This one you'll know right away....Enjoy!
OF COURSE THEY'RE SCISSORS

QUOTE FROM THE MOM:

THIS IS MY KINDERGARTNER'S ARTISTIC RENDERING OF A PAIR OF SCISSORS. I WONDER

WHAT HIS TEACHER THOUGHT.

I ALLOWED MYSELF JUST A SMALL SMIRK WHEN I SAW IT.

I WAITED UNTIL HE WAS OUT OF THE ROOM UNTIL I STARTED CRYING FROM LAUGHING SO HARD.

WELL, OF COURSE THEY'RE SCISSORS.

IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WITH A SMALL CHILD OR IF YOU ARE A TEACHER YOU WILL LOVE THIS!


AS YOU ALL KNOW I WILL BE REQUIRED TO
PROUDLY DISPLAY THIS ON
MY REFRIGERATOR FOR A LENGTH OF TIME .

Forwarded email...

Ok, I'm usually not one to forward mass emails around and especially don't usually post them in my blog, but I'm posting this for posterity's sake. I'm just going to cut and paste it into here so you can see it in it's original format. I almost wet my pants...

See above post.

Case of the Mondays

This is definitely a Monday. I just really don't feel like doing anything at all - especially working. Things are slow (I'm writing this at work.) I'm caught up with everything. I'm bored. I really don't want to be here today. I've played with the cats, I've sent out emails and text messages...I'm ready to go home.

It could have to do with the fact that yesterday I went to the Door for the Beer Bust (50 cent beer) for the first time in a long time. I had too many cheap beers and then topped it off with wings and fries. My stomach was pissed off. I ended up going to bed pretty early - after watching a BRAND NEW EPISODE of Desperate Housewives. I'm so glad that show is back - really missed it.

Oh, the cool thing about today is that one of my clients came in that I hadn't seen in awhile. Ok, that's not the cool part...the cool part is that yesterday I was driving around and out of the blue thought, "Charlotte hasn't been in in awhile." Then, today she shows up - not working on a job, just came by with some friends to show them our showroom. I tend to do that a lot. I will think about someone completely randomly that I haven't seen in awhile and the next day they show up. Weird. A few hundred years ago I would've been burned for being a witch...

Detroit City Council Fight

Apparently this is not really an unusual occurrence for the Detroit City Council. It's actually very reminiscent of the old Dallas City Council meetings from what I hear. They were historically volatile. Here is a brief explanation of the video from freep.com:

Council hearing adjourned amid shouting match

By Suzette Hackney • Free Press Staff Writer • April 11, 2008

A Detroit City Council special investigative session into a police whistle-blower lawsuit settlement erupted into a yelling match when President Pro Tem Monica Conyers claimed she was being disrespected.

The argument began when Conyers asked an independent attorney who was testifying if the council could be sued by Detroit residents for approving the $8.4-million lawsuit settlement.

Councilwoman JoAnn Watson said: “They can sue you; I voted no.”

Conyers told Watson to stop interrupting and disrespecting her. She added: “We all know how you voted; you don’t have to keep repeating it.”

Moments later, Conyers interrupted Council President Ken Cockrel as he was questioning Carl Edwards, the Detroit attorney. Cockrel reminded Conyers that he had the floor and banged his gavel repeatedly.

Conyers railed: “You’re not my Daddy. You’re not going to disrespect me. Grow up! Control your house and learn how to treat women.”

Cockrel told Conyers that she was “one to talk.”

Conyers also made repeated mocking reference to Cockrel as Shrek, the green, grumpy and rotund ogre from the animated film.

As the council members yelled at each other, residents attending the hearings yelled, as well. “You’re disrespecting the citizens!” and “This is a shame!”

Cockrel took a quick recess to regain order before then breaking for lunch.

To Ami'ee

Are you in Keller? If so, we're closer than you may think. Email me: txsmurf@gmail.com

Spring is Here!

Mother Nature made it clear last night that Spring has sprung. We had massive storms and some tornadoes sweep through North Texas. I absolutely love this time of year! There's something about the smell and feel of the air that is invigorating. The moments before a storm, especially one with tornadic activity, there is a charge in the air. Out of the entire year, that is my favorite time to be outside.

I think all of this goes back to when I was very little and living in Wichita Falls. On April 10, 1979 (weird that that was 29 years to the day) a massive F4 tornado 1 1/2 miles wide cut through the city while it was on the ground for 47 minutes. It destroyed 1/5 of the city, including my uncle's house. I remember standing on the front porch of Meemaw's house with sirens blaring. She was standing behind me with her hands over my ears as we watched the storm. Luckily for us it was on the other side of town.

For several months after that I drew little tornadoes all over my papers - on everything. It made quite an impression. From that point on I've been so completely fascinated by them and get excited during tornado producing storms. I always wanted to be a storm chaser - and maybe I still will once I'm retired. Most people think I'm weird. I'm the one that friends call to come over during tornado weather because I remain so calm and positive.

So, last night we had a lot of wind damage with a couple of reported tornadoes touching down. Today the metroplex is in a tizzy with overturned trucks, downed powerlines, electrical outages, etc. There are even some school districts closed due to power outages. FUN!!

Monkey Blood

So I was chatting with someone last night and he referenced Monkey Blood. Obscure reference, but I loved it! I hadn't thought of that stuff in years! It just made me smile. Then of course I had to look it up and find out whatever happened to it. Turns out in 1998 the FDA disapproved it and it is now illegal in the US. Apparently it had a risk of mercury poisoning. Go figure - the medical name for it is Mercurochrome. Hmmm...

Anyway, just thought it was a little fun blast from the past! To think that there's a whole generation that has no idea what monkey blood is or what it means to rub mercury into your cuts and scrapes with the bonus of staining your skin red.

I broke my dog...

I've had some major issues with Abby's vet lately. They gave her a medication that cost $166 for 7.5 pills without my authorization. They did not give her the steroid prescription refill I asked for that helps with her joints and nerves. When I called yesterday morning I was told I would definitely get a call from the vet that day. I heard nothing.

Well, because she's been having more problems since she hasn't had her steroids and yesterday fell when she was getting out of the truck. Last night she wasn't able to walk with ease and couldn't even potty. She just laid down outside. I had to help pick her up because she couldn't stand on her own.

This morning she seems to be a little better, but still very sore. She hasn't really eaten in a couple of days now. I'm just worried. I'm going to call the vet again this morning and discuss all of this with her. I think it might be time to start looking for another vet.

Dallas World Aquarium

Saturday we took Ella and Elijah to the Dallas Aquarium for Ella's first bday. I figured I'd share some pictures.

***oh, Seattle was canceled due to a shortage in funds :(***

Happy Birthday Ella!!

My niece Ella is 1 today. My sister's family and my mom are coming to Dallas today to take Ella to the Dallas Aquarium. I haven't been in years, so it'll be fun. I mean, really, what do you do for a first birthday? Elizabeth figured that she would enjoy the aquarium because it's so visually stimulating. I'm just glad they're coming to Dallas. I drove to Fort Worth last night for a date and really had no desire to drive back out there this morning - gas prices are just too crazy right now.

Afterward, I'll probably head to the car show with Mark and Brian and play the rest of the day by ear. So, far it's gonna be a really low key weekend which is good. Sunday might include hanging out at the Door with 50 cent beer - but we'll see. I've got to fit cleaning in there somewhere...

Negatory

I hadn't been tested for HIV in about 6 months, so it was time. I had a friend tell me yesterday that he tested positive, so it was on the brain - I got my ass to the clinic. I took the Rapid test where you pay $35 and you get the results in 20 minutes. It's worth the money to avoid that 7 days of Hell waiting for results.

Well, negative as usual. Hmm...that sentence sounded like I was disappointed. Not at all! I think after all of the mistakes I've made over the past 15 years it just surprises me sometimes. I'm always careful now, but that wasn't always the case. When drugs were in my life, common sense wasn't. But, I consistently test negative.

I think there's also a little guilt there because I have so many friends that are positive who may have made a mistake once and became positive. Yet I, for some reason, have dodged more bullets than I can count. Either someone is looking out for me (which I don't believe), I'm just plain lucky, or I'm in the tiny percentage of the population with an immunity to it (doubt that one too.)

I'm gonna be an uncle...again!

Well, I got the phone call last night. Actually, my mom called me and said, "Have you talked to Elizabeth?" (my sister.) I said that I hadn't and she told me she'd be calling. I knew what this meant. I asked, "Is she pregnant again?" She laughed and said that I would be getting a phone call.

Elizabeth called and told me. Her due date is Nov 30. We talked for awhile about it. They never "plan" for them, it just happens. We decided that she's making up for me not having any children. She loves being surrounded by them and I love visiting and being able to walk away. I guess nature is balancing us out.

Eddie Izzard

Last night Mark and I went to see Eddie Izzard at the Majestic. I was worried, never having seen him in person, that he wouldn't be able to live up to Dress to Kill. Honestly, I still feel that's his best performance of what I've seen - both recorded and now live. However, last night was a great show.

Because of his role in The Riches he came out in boy clothes and no make-up, but still referred to himself as a transvestite, so it's still in there, just not out on display right now. He was hilarious. His stream of consciousness comedy style is as crazy as it gets and gets even crazier when he pulls his iPhone out of his pocket to check facts about Dallas on Wikipedia.

The show was a full 2 hours and while there were several "What the fuck???" moments, it was a very fun evening...except for our seats. This was the first time I'd been in the Mezzanine. I'm usually lucky enough to get Orchestra, but not this time. It was sooo warm up there. I was wet with sweat through most of the show and surrounded by sick people. Today I woke up feeling all achy - lovely.

The other entertaining part was the people watching before the show. It was a very bizarre crowd - part computer geek, part gay, part tranny, part etc, etc, etc. We were surrounded by some very very large people and very loud people. I jokingly referred to someone as a band geek and later heard him talking about his trombone. (It's ok, I was a band geek in HS.)

Overall a great evening...except for the sick thing.