Back from the dead

Things seem to be getting back to normal. Last night I worked out again for the first time in a week and a half. I was sick the past couple of days and yesterday I decided that working out would make me feel better. I was right, my stomach is still bothering me a little, but overall I feel better.

I have strange little spots appearing on my skin. They are little red, dry patches about the size of a mosquito bite. They don't itch or anything, they're just there. So, naturally I assume it's some kind of disease - cancer, HIV, or something exotic (because I travel to so many exotic places). I don't think I'm a hypochondriac really, I am just prepared for the worse. I don't necessarily believe it will happen, but I recognize that it does happen to people and that I'm no exception. So, if I just figure I have something, I won't be surprised if it were to happen.

Now that I wrote that out it doesn't seem like a very healthy outlook. I'll have to make a note to talk to my shrink about that.

Back to Basics Tour

Last night Mark and I went to see Christina Aguilera. That bitch can put on a show! But I'll get to that in a minute. The sceduled opening act was The Pussycat Dolls. We arrived after the opening act started and went and found our seats.

On stage was a group of what appeared to be strippers, so we assumed it was The Pussycat Dolls. They looked and sounded like them, but we were baffled. Behind them was a sign that said "Danity Kane". Since neither of us had heard of them we were trying to figure out what that meant. After they were finished, Mark turned to the girl next to him and asked if it was the PCDs. She kinda laughed and said that it was Danity Kane and that the PCDs were on next. That was just the first thing that made me feel old.

Now, here's my view of the PCDs. I think the main singer has an incredible voice, but they're all pretty good. The music has a great beat, they can dance, and they're pretty. However - the lyrics are stupid and they dress like strippers. Normally I wouldn't have an issue with the way they dress and act - if they were a Vegas act. The fact that we were surrounded by 12 year old girls who knew every word to every song (ok, not hard - there're about 5 words to each song repeated over and over and over) is what got to me. Girls that age shouldn't be wearing shirts that say "Loosen up my buttons". Call me old fashioned but I don't believe that girls should be trying to be sexy at that age. It's just sickening. That was the second realization that I'm getting old.

Now for Christina. Amazing. You know how at most concerts the performer don't sound nearly as rich as they do on their albums? If you shut your eyes, you wouldn't know whether she was live or recorded - except that I think she actually sounds better live. It was incredible. There was only one glitch in the entire concert and that came after the first song. She said, "What's up Houston?" HOUSTON?!?!? (For those that don't know - we're in Dallas) It really deflated the mood. When she went for a quick change after the song, someone told her she was in Dallas. She came back out and apologized. You could tell she was really embarassed, so all was forgiven and she went on to give a flawless concert.

I sat in amazement as I watched her sing song after song after song, never once missing a note, never once losing the strength in her tone or quality. She is truly one of the best singers today. She has come so far from The Mickey Mouse Club. I always liked her, but after seeing what she is capable of doing in person, I'm now a huge fan.

Period of Adjustment

Since I decided to withdraw from school and work full time in the showroom I've been going through a strange period of adjustment. I've been in school for the past 4 years. I'm used to constantly having homework on the brain and an ever-changing schedule. Now that's all gone. It's strange to think that the only regularly scheduled thing for me is work: M-F 9-5.

That's another thing - a regular schedule. Even before school I spent about 10 years in retail. So, now that I think about it, I've never had a M-F 9-5. It's a strange adjustment, but I think it's a good one to make. My memory just gets worse almost daily, I was starting to have a hard time keeping up with my schedule. Now, I don't even have to think about it.

However, now my social calendar is filling up. Luckily I have people around me who'll help me remember stuff. Mark tells me to get a palm pilot. I had one. It was a complete waste of money because I would forget to use it. Same with a planner. I can't tell you how many planners I've thrown away in the past because I quit using them about a week or two after I get them. Like the palm pilot, in order for it to work you have to remember to use it. So, luckily Mark is involved in most of the same activities so he can be my back up memory - he doesn't forget to use his palm pilot.

I really need to start doing more brain exercises...

My New Love

I'm turning into a hockey fanatic. This was my first year to go to a game. My dad bought season tickets for Mavs and Stars. My parents aren't really hockey fans, so I get a lot of the tickets. It surprises me how much I get into the game.

I'm not a sports fan by any means. My sports interests have always been limited to tennis and baseball. I love going to baseball games too. Although it started out as a great place to check out beautiful men, the more games I went to, the more I loved it. Now I can go to a baseball game and never leave my seat. However the most "fan gear" I've ever bought is a hat or two. Not the same with hockey.

Game by game of hockey, I'm coming out of my sports shell. It's non-stop action and it's just fun. About my 4th game this season I bought a Stars sweatshirt - more out of necessity than anything. I'm not used to being cold, but since I've been losing weight, I can feel the cold a little more. I went to the game and was freezing my ass off. I needed the sweatshirt. I wore that for a couple of games, but as my fanaticism increased so did my need for "fan gear".

A couple of weeks ago I bought my first hockey jersey. And no, not just a plain one, but one with a name and number - Eric Lindros #88. I mean look at him!! Well, yesterday I bought another one. This time I had it custom made. We have a new goalie, Mike Smith. He's amazing to watch. He hasn't played much yet, but has two shutouts. Last Wednesday was his first game to start. I'm crazy about him. His nickname is Smitty, so I got a jersey with his number that says "SMITTY" instead of "SMITH". Stacie, who got me hooked on this sport, says that I'm now passing into the realm of Super Fan.

Yesterday's game was amazing! We beat the Sharks 5-1. They are bitter rivals and you could tell from the moment they stepped on the ice. There were lots of fights. One that involved pads and jerseys being ripped off. FUN! It was an incredible game and I'm sad that my next tickets aren't until March. But I'm taking the next step in fandom. Tuesday night the Stars are away, so I'm going to the official Stars watching party at The Iron Cactus. It helps that there will be drink specials and free food, but I'm really excited to wear my new jersey!

A New Direction

Well, it's time for my life to take a new direction. I have completely lost interest in my degree field and have decided to withdraw from school. Interior Design is a great field to be in, but I've discovered in working at the showroom that I have no desire to work with clients. Our showroom is "To the trade" only so I deal with designers on a daily basis. Listening to the problems they have made me realize that it's not what I want to do.

I accepted a position at the showroom. We sell high-end (avg $40-50/sf) handcrafted tiles. The showroom has been around for 30 years. It is a mom and pop operation, but very lucrative. There are only 6 of us working there - 3 in sales. It's a very laid back showroom which is not very common, especially in Dallas. I can relax and be myself. It is the best job I've ever had and plan on staying for years.

It's that time of year...

Well, another year is passing and we're only a few months away from Pride in San Francisco. THE gay mecca. When I lived out there I went every year and had the best time. If you've never been (and especially if you don't live near a major metro area) you should go. There's nothing like it - except maybe Sydney Mardi Gras, but I've never seen that in person.

I haven't been back to San Fran since I moved back to Texas a few years ago. I can't wait. I miss the air, the smells (in certain neighborhoods not so much), the culture, the fog, the scenery, and most of all the weather! It is by far my favorite city!

This is a really boring post. I had a bottle of wine when I went to dinner with my dad. We talked a lot about everything and now my mind is kinda spinning. I'm deliriously happy right now.

Gays in Sports

OH MY GOD!!! There are gay people in professional sports!

I just received an email from my brother-in-law that got me a little riled up. He's extremely conservative and his emails usually do that, so I asked him to not send me any. He hasn't, until this one. It's an article written by an ESPN writer talking about his views on why gays should be allowed to be open in professional sports. He sent it to let me know how he feels because it so closely matches his own beliefs. At first glance it seems positive, but I think a lot of it is backhanded.

So - I want other opinions. I wanna know if I'm completely blowing things out of proportion or if anyone else is offended by it.

Article

It's funny because it's blasphemous...

I just wish I thought of it!

Happy VD

Well, this is my first Valentine's Day in about 6 years without a partner. It's not a sad day. Actually, just the opposite. I have to admit though it's nice to not have to worry about getting something. Is this too little? Is it too much? Are roses too girly and cliche? Blah, blah, blah...This year I'm free from the "blah, blah, blah". It's actually a little refreshing.

So tonight, I'm going to a hockey game (GO STARS!) with Mark. His partner Brian is working in San Diego and gave me permission to borrow his husband for the game. I'm so glad I didn't go the "date" route. Right now I would be stressing out, running all over the place trying to figure out what to wear and if I should bring flowers. Is this too little? Is it too much? Are roses too girly and cliche? Blah, blah, blah...

Instead I will spend the evening with Mark doing manly things like watching hockey and drinking beer, watching our asses get handed to us by the Redwings. But that's ok, I'll be doing something I love with someone I love. And although it won't lead to an evening of passion under the sheets, it will still be sprinkled with love, and isn't that what this day is all about?

On Soul-mates...

Fair warning: this maybe a little weird and convoluted. If it is, I apologize. It made sense to me when I wrote it.

It's funny to me how you can go through life missing a part of yourself and not even know it. I personally believe that we are all connected to each other. We have shared experiences and energy. Everything and everyone is made of this energy. I think between lives our energy disperses and is shared with other entities which then are reborn. Over the millenia you have shared enough energy with other entities that you eventually start meeting others with this shared energy.

This recognition of shared energy happens on a molecular level. You don't recognize the other person physically, but your molecules recognize each other and are attracted to each other like magnets. This is the feeling of "love at first sight" or of meeting a "soul-mate". Although rare, I don't think that we are limited to one soul-mate or that love at first sight has to be romantic. It is just two parts of shared energy that recognize that they were once part of the same whole.

That being said, I was fortunate enough to meet someone with that familiar energy. Mark and I hit it off immediately. We knew each other without having spoken. This isn't about sex or romance. It is about being reunited with a part of yourself. The feeling of complete safety and comfort. Knowing that I can say anything and it only connects us more. I have been fortunate enough to meet a couple of "soul-mates" but it's been many, many years. I am so fortunate to have met Mark at a time when I needed to the most.

And such is life. We meet those we need when we need them most. We can sit and talk for hours, watch tv, or sit in silence and just be content and at peace. I love him so much and am so happy that I found him. And the bonus - I love his partner Brian as well. They are both such amazing, supportive people, but in very different ways. Together they are teaching me so much about myself.

Most people think of soul-mates as a romantic notion. I think just the opposite. Soul-mates have a common bond that is inescapable and unchanging, and although it is sometimes discovered in a romantic relationship, it is usually found where least expected - in life-long friendships. Since finding each other, I know that without question we will always be friends, always connected until our energy is dispersed once more to continue along another path.

Waking Up Alone

Don't get me wrong, I'm in no condition to be in a relationship right now. But, I have to admit I'm getting a little tired of waking up alone. I miss having someone to sleep with (literally sleep) and hold. I miss affection and intimacy. I'm a very sensual person. I love touching, kissing, cuddling. It's very difficult for me not to be able to express that.

I have way too much on my plate right now to even give a relationship a second thought. WIth school, work, and starting a business I'm a little overwhelmed. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. But that's ok, because there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

So maybe what I need are friends. Friends that I can hold, touch, kiss, have adult slumber parties with...

Another Round

Well, yesterday was another full day. I met the boys for breakfast at Market Diner. We took the out-of-towners to Northpark Mall to wander around and catch a movie. This is what we do in Dallas - eat, shop, and watch movies. I love this city, but it is definitely a shopping and eating mecca. After all, Northpark is the country's first mall. It all started here. Anywho...we went to see Norbit. I was dragging my feet, but once the movie started, I didn't stop laughing. It is definitely worth seeing if you just want to relax and have a good time.

After the movie, I went home to check on Abby and take a power nap before starting the evening's festivities. The boys picked me up and we went to dinner at "Cafe Express." Very good, fast, gourmet food. We went back to Mark & Brian's and watched Little Britain while letting our food digest some.

We headed to the Rose Room to catch the drag show. One of the best in the country. One of my absolute favorites of all time was performing. Her name is Maya Douglas. If you've never seen her, it is worth the trip to Dallas. We saw an amazing performer named Alexis Nicole Whitney. She is blind. It is amazing to watch a blind female impersonator connect with an audience the way she did - very inspirational.

We wrapped up the evening at The Round-Up. All in all a very fun evening! But I have to say, it's been a long weekend. My body is not used to this amount of tequila and social activity anymore. I'm ready for a nap. But, not today - too much to do.

First Entry

Well, so here goes. I've talked about blogging for awhile now. I've decided it's time to start. I was debating for a long time about which direction to go with it and decided "screw it, just start writing." That being said...

Last night I went to The Round-Up with my friends Mark, Brian, and Mama Starlett. Their friends Brett and Michael came in from New Orleans and wanted to go out. We did way too many tequila shots - at least Mark and I did. We tried a new tequila (for us). I usually drink Patron, but last night we went with Don Julio - very smooth. Almost too smooth - I kept wanting more. But I'm not afraid to tell you - after spending the evening drinking tequila like Patron and Don Julio - beware the Cuervo shot. It was painful. We ran into Zach - a very sweet, very gorgeous man and spent most of the evening hanging out doing shots and taking picture after picture after picture...after picture.

Once back at Mark and Brian's, I was ready to go home and see to Abby (my beautiful Great Dane). THEY WOULDN'T LET ME DRIVE HOME!!! The nerve! Actually I was still a little tipsy and Brian drove me home. Today will be spent recovering with the group, preparing for tonight. Brett and Michael want to make the rounds tonight. Tonight should be interesting, to say the least!